Principles I Live By as a Software Engineer

After years of building, breaking, and rebuilding systems—and teams—I’ve collected a set of principles that shape how I work. These aren’t slogans. They’re hard-won truths. They help me focus, challenge the right things, and avoid getting in my own way (or anyone else’s).

They’re how I stay useful.

🪴 Let Others Grow So You Can, Too

Deprecate Yourself

Make yourself replaceable on purpose. When you deprecate yourself, you’re not becoming irrelevant—you’re making room. It’s how you grow your team. And how you earn the chance to grow into something harder, more interesting, or more impactful.

Back the Pack

Leaders don’t need the spotlight. They need awareness. Support your team from behind—shield them when it’s noisy, and step aside when it’s time for them to lead.

Build People, Not Product

Your product will be rewritten. Your influence won’t. Don’t confuse code with impact. Teach what you know. Share your context. Raise the ceiling for everyone, not just yourself.

Less (Control) Is More (Trust, Delegate, Set Expectations)

Micromanagement is just fear in a sweater. Set expectations, hand over the keys, and let people drive. Trust isn’t optional—it’s the price of entry.

🧠 Stay Curious, Stay Wrong

Fail Fast, Fail Often

The faster you hit the wall, the faster you figure out where the doors are. Failure is signal—treat it like telemetry.

Why? Why? Why?

Surface answers don’t solve root problems. Ask why. Then again. Then again. Keep going until the next “why” feels uncomfortable.

Even When Right, Assume You’re Wrong

Confidence is not correctness. Keep your ego and your conclusions separate. If you’re not willing to be wrong, you’re not ready to be right.

Play Dumb and Dumber

Ask the obvious question. Then ask the one that makes people uncomfortable. The best answers start with “That’s a good question…”

🔍 Lead with Honesty, Not Ego

Be Painfully Honest

Don’t sugarcoat. Don’t spin. Say the thing. Truth is an accelerant—it gets you to alignment or a better disagreement faster.

Leggo Your Ego

You’re not your ideas. Good teams kill bad ideas quickly—even (especially) if they’re yours. The goal is progress, not credit.

Say No

No is how you protect yes. Say it early, clearly, and without apology. Every yes is a tradeoff—guard your focus like it’s your uptime.

⚙️ Work That Works

Sack the Pack Rat

Keep what adds value. Archive what doesn’t. Whether it’s code, docs, processes, or beliefs—hoarding slows you down.

Effort ≠ Value

Hard work is not the goal—useful work is. If you spent all day struggling with something that shouldn’t exist, that’s not noble. That’s waste.

CREAM: Don’t Make Dollars, Don’t Make Sense

If it’s not creating value—strategic, financial, or human—it’s time to stop. We don’t get paid for effort. We get paid for outcomes.

Measure Twice, Cut Once, Repeat

Get it right, then check again. Then improve it. Precision beats speed. But refinement beats perfection.

🧩 People Are Not Systems

Be Efficient with Things, Effective with People

Optimize tools, not relationships. Automate the easy stuff. For everything else—take the time, have the conversation, be a person.

Don’t Panic: Action vs. Reaction vs. Overreaction

Your response is the real risk. Urgency doesn’t equal clarity. Slow down, assess, then act. Stay out of the “thrash zone.”

Don’t Overcompensate

Fix the root cause, not the optics. Overcorrecting often hides the real issue—and delays the hard conversations you still need to have.

🔥 Move With Intention

No Fear

Fear makes bad decisions. It chokes creativity and invites control. Courage isn’t the absence of fear—it’s moving forward despite it.

Selfless, Not Sacrifice

Support others without erasing yourself. Burnout helps no one. Giving without boundaries is not generosity—it’s avoidance.

Decide: Producer or Manager, Not Both

You can build, or you can manage—but not at the same time. Pick a lane, then commit. Split focus leads to split results.

Principles > Urgency

Don’t let the fire drill set your roadmap. Urgency fades. Principles persist. Build on what matters, not what screams the loudest.

👂 Listen Like You Mean It

Really Listen: Ignore < Pretend < Selective < Attentive < Empathic

Most people stop at “attentive.” Empathic listening means absorbing the words and the intent. It’s how trust is built and how blind spots get revealed.

These aren’t rules—they’re reminders. For when you’re tired. For when it’s messy. For when it feels easier to just go with the flow.

That’s when principles matter most.